As soon as his name was attached to the host child we became his property, to do with as he wished. We had to obey his every command. The first rule was that we had to call him "daddy" and her "mum". Within a few short days he started to show his true colors and our life from then on became one long nightmare. A few days after all this happened, we were screamed at to get into the house. Apparently some money had gone missing out of the kitchen cupboard and we were being blamed. The mother said it had to be the host child because 'she didn't know how she had been dragged up'. The mother got hold of our hair and started to smack us around the face and head. The father then came in to see what was going on and when she told him he then started to kick at the body. He pushed us to the ground and literally kicked us from one end of the house to the other. The mother got her chequebook out of her bag and tried to ram it into our mouth saying that if we wanted her money that desperately we could have it all. tash took it all without a murmur and even though the body was black and blue none of us complained at all. The father continued to beat and kick the body and eventually he went into our room and trashed it for us. He threw a clock through the window by the bed and smashed it, which he then blamed on us. That window was never replaced,it was simply boarded up after a few days.
It later turned out that the youngest girl had in fact taken the money to "play" with but we didn't get an apology and the youngest did not get punished. We were still guilty even though we had been proven innocent. After that we were never allowed inside the house unless both of the parents were in there.
After much deliberation we have decided that those inners who were actually involved should write occasionally in this next section. We have also decided not to use any form of spell check on their writings as by doing this it would take away their identities and make them appear as someone they are not. Please note that most of the inners who were involved over the next two or three years have limited spelling abilities and therefore tend to spell phonetically. We hope that this does not cause any problems for people and we hope that you will understand our reasons behind the decisions. I shall continue writing our "story" but shall allow the younger ones to write about specific events. They are more able to explain how they felt about it because as we have already said, myself and Verity do not possess the ability to process emotions.
Sincerely,
caitlin
My name is tash an i am 9 yers old and i reely hate the daddy lots becorse he did hurt us reel bad. Wen he giv us his name he sed we got to call him daddy but i dint for a long time becorse i dint want to but i all ways got us hit for not sayin it. i want my name on heer so it is flashy so i am goin to ask caitlin to do it for me okay. i will be back soon. See i am back and now i got my flashy name too so i am happy. After wen we got to hav the daddys name he got reel mean and did bad things to us. One day the daddy sed he was goin to teetch us to drive the trakters on the farm and the mummy went out with her 3 kids to do shop in town. Wen they was gon the daddy took us in the bed room and s went away and so i was ther insted. He sed he got to teetch us abowt grown up things now becorse s was neerly 10 and he told us to take our trowsers and pants off and he put a big towel on the bed then he pushed us down on the bed and he took his thing out and then stuk his finger in us and then his thing in us and it reel hurt bad andi cryed and cryed and i never ever cryed agayn sins then becorse i teetched me not to. He just kept on puttin it in us and it hurt lots but wen i cryed he got reel mad and hurt worser. Wen he was done ther was blood on him and on the bed too and he was reel mad and made me cleen him off with the mowth and it was horibell. He sed we carnt never tel any one or we wud be put in jail and no body wud want us and he sed if we toled any one they wud not beleev us and that we wud be in big trubel for teling lyes. He sed we got to do wot he sed becorse we costed him and the mummy too mutch mony so we got to pay him bak like that. He sed no body els wanted us, he sed the granny dint want us and that was wy we had go livther. He sed the mummy dint want us ther but he told her to let us go liv ther so we shud be reel gratefull to him for putting a roof over our hed and food in our belly and giving us clothes to waer.
This incident with tash occurred on the second saturday in February 1976. The reasons he always gave for why he had to have sex with the body were simple ~" we owed him because he had put a roof over our head when nobody else wanted us". "It was what all daddys do with their eldest daughters", " he had to teach us for later life" " He had to check that we were developing normally". Along with the reasons also came the threats of 'keeping silent' and why it was imperative that we did not "tell anyone". "Nobody would believe" was the favorite one. but there was also IF we told they would blame us, the mother would kill us, we would be locked away for ever, the police would lock us in a cell and so forth.
The younger ones call the host child "s", whilst the older ones of us tend to refer to her as "the self". That was the first and only time that tash has ever cried in her entire existence because as she said "she taught herself not to". It was a further year before the self actually stayed present during one of his sexual assaults.
The self harming began in earnest with tash. The "fathers" rules were simple - No crying, no sadness, no happiness, no anger - basically none of the "normal" human emotions were allowed. tash began harming the body in order to stop the feelings of physical pain. She began by sticking pins and needles into the arms and legs then progressed to slashing the skin with a razor blade taken from the house bathroom. Over the years other inners (including myself) quickly picked up this self harming trait in order to release built up emotional pain that was not allowed to be released in any other way. On the rare occasions that the cutting was noticed we became adept at making up excuses for example we had slipped in one of the barns and caught the arm/leg on something sticking out. They always accepted our replies but as I said it was seldom that they would even notice.
The routine was quickly set. We would have to help out on the farm before and after school. Getting up at 5.30am each morning to help with the dairy herd and repeating the whole process when we returned in the afternoon. The job was usually dealt between Kris, josh,kyal and jake. After all the chores were done for the evening we would have to go for a walk around the farm with the "father" and most days it ended with him having sex with the body. During that first year it was tash who presented during the sexual acts although occasionally some of the younger ones got caught up in it.
The 'father' quickly devised a whistling tune which meant that we had to go with him. If he was in a bad mood the mother would send us to him, telling us to "go calm your daddy down".
In the August of that year the host child turned 10 years of age but she wasn't even aware of it. She rarely ventured out that first year.
We became known as "the bitch", "dirty evil little bitch child", that was all the mother ever called us and of course their three children soon followed suit. Their youngest daughter, seven years our junior didn't even realise that the self had another name until a couple of years later!
The mother gave us her version as to why they had been "forced to take us in". She told us that the grandmother was tired of us and had said that the host child was "obnoxious, rude, stupid,did nothing that was asked of her and constantly refused to attend school." The grandmother had apparently contacted social services and told them that she wanted rid of the host child. Apparently there were two options open ~ either we would go into care or we could go and live with the birth mother. The mother made it clear from the outset that had it been her decision alone we would have "definitely gone into care"., however the 'father' had insisted that we move in with them.
It was years later that we discovered the truth, that the grandmother had not wanted to give us up. She wasn't even aware that we had been taken from the school until the social worker visited her later that day.
Unfortunately the damage was done, we all felt unwanted and unloved by the woman who we had believed to be "mum".
So many lies, so much pain, so much punishment and all for what? Simply because the child had been born.
Life dragged on slowly over the following months. Christmas came round again but that year was by far the worst one we had ever experienced. Even the previous christmas paled in comparison. Now that we were "officially" part of the family it meant that the 'parents' had to buy us gifts as well as their own three children. In order to compensate the 'father' for all this extra money he was having to pay out it meant that we had to pay him back with sex. During the weeks leading up to christmas he would often demand sex before and after school and even began to sneak into our bed at night. Despite all these "favors" given to the 'father' the only gifts that we actually received were items that were essential ie school clothes. Their three children would receive toys and gifts by the dozen and took great pleasure in taunting us with them.
In March of 1977 the self re-emerged and on the 17th of that month she stayed present during the sexual activities. Despite the fact that the 'father' had been penetrating fully for over a year by that time, the self felt the pain as though it were the first time ( for her it was). She became almost hysterical, crying and trying to get away from him. The more she cried the worse he became and he started to beat the body with his fists whilst continually ramming himself into the body. After he had finished he then got angry and hit her across the side of the head with such force that we all experienced loss of hearing in the left ear for several days. Then the rules were once again repeated -
Crying was for babies. We were grown up now,doing grown up things.
NO crying,
NO shouting
NO anger
NO answering back
NO refusing to do as we're told
Infact it was basically do not do anything other than obey and perform whatever he demanded, quietly and without a fuss.
After that day it was increasingly rare for the self to remain present during the sexual activities with the 'father'. Since we have been in counselling and have started to listen to her and read things that she has written we have now learned that she doesn't actually remember a great deal of those years. She firmly believes that the abuse only happened occasionally. This corroborates how well we 'protected' her as a child.
In April of 1977 shaylee ade emerged aged 10 years and nine months. She was soon to be followed by her twin shaylea who shared the burden equally. They took over completely from tash in performing the sexual activities with the 'father'. We very quickly began allocating specific tasks amongst ourselves - for example -shaylee jade and shaylea dealt with the sexual activities tash took the beatings, kayleigh spent the majority of the time in the classroom, Kris, jake, josh and kyal shared the farm work. Myself and Verity simply watched and listened. The younger ones rarely ventured out.
The parents were very insistent that their children attended church each Sunday, the mother always wore a gold cross around her neck as did her three children. The self was not allowed this 'luxury' on account of being an evil little bitch child ( the mothers words). They said that we needed to go to church and pray for forgiveness before we would be 'clean' enough to wear the cross of Jesus round our neck. I must add here that neither of the 'parents' actually attended church supposedly due to the demands of running a dairy farm! None of us liked the church with the exception of hope but because she was several years younger than the self it caused a few problems ( at that time hope was not as well educated as she has now become). Christs child ( c c) emerged to perform that weekly chore.
The father began shutting us out of the house during thunder storms and used "God" as an excuse. He said that we were to blame for the storms, that it was God screaming and hammering out because we were 'so evil'. The twins usually stayed present during the storms until they could stand it no longer then tash would take over. The father told us that we would get struck by the lightening and him and the rest of the family would be safe indoors watching and waiting for it to happen. Today we still suffer with extreme anxiety during storms and some of the younger ones will be physically sick.
In June of 1977 we were at school and it was one of the rare occasions that the self was present. She began suffering severe pains in her stomach and was terrified that the father had put a baby inside of her. She didn't understand what was happening, infact none of us did because we had never been told anything about the "facts of life". She was becoming increasingly frightened and the pain was affecting all of us to some degree. As the selfs fear grew so did the "switching" of inners .I think that the teachers were becoming alarmed at the extreme changes in personality of the host child so they decided that the best course of action was to telephone the 'parents' and have them come and collect us. The 'mother' arrived soon after.
On our return to the farm the mother sat us down and "explained" that the pain would probably result in us finding blood in our pants. This the mother said would prove without a doubt how evil we were. According to the mother this blood would be the badness coming out. Her final words on the matter were "Don't expect me to give you anything to keep yourself clean when you start bleeding" and basically that was our 'motherly' talk on Menstruation.
When the bleeding did start later that evening there was bedlam inside, the self disappeared ( as usual) , shaylee jade and shaylea, became hysterical ( they are terrified of blood), kayleigh did not deal with bodily functions and the others were too young to understand, leah emerged and instantly knew what to do. She didn't mention it to the mother at all, just went into the bathroom and stole a roll of toilet paper to use. This was how we had to deal with the monthly periods for the next four years until we went into care briefly.
We did eventually learn the truth about the bleeding, what it was and what it meant but it was the 'father' who gave us this information. The mother never spoke of it again.
The onset of the monthly periods seemed to increase the 'fathers' want for sex especially during the week that the body was bleeding. Very soon the sexual activities increased much as they did in the lead up to christmas. On weekends and school holidays it would be as many as three or four times over the space of 24 hours. It became a regular habit of his to sneak into our bed during the early hours of the morning.
The beatings were normal day to day occurrences as was the sex, that became our life. As the body "grew up" the arrival of the menstrual cycle also meant the growth of hair in certain places. This was not a welcome sight for the father and at the first sight of growth on the pubic region he took us into the bathroom and shaved it off. This continued the entire time we lived there and he insisted that we shaved daily. The downside to this was that we suffered from constant itchiness and soreness down below. This affected tash badly and we would often be covered in scratches and rashes that were self inflicted by tash.
During that summer their three children each received new bikes. The father discovered one in the local rubbish dump which would suffice would us. It was rideable, the brakes worked in a fashion ( as long as we put our feet down onto the ground), the tyres were relatively okay. What else could we ask for?
The bike lasted all of three weeks. One afternoon we were riding along the lane which had recently been re gravelled. The father had been out to a neighbouring farm and came searching for us in his car. We were actually heading back towards the farm when he suddenly appeared in the middle of the road and drove straight at us. The end result was that we were thrown off the bike and the car drove straight over the front wheel. The body was damaged from the gravel and there was a gaping hole in the left knee. Oddly enough it didn't bleed at all.
The mother reluctantly drove us to the hospital to get it checked out and we ended up with 6 stitches. This was a week before we were due to start at high school. We were supposed to return to the hospital ten days later to have the stitches removed but this was far too much trouble for the parents. Instead leah removed the stitches using one of tashs' secret stash of razor blades.
In the August of that year the self turned 11 which in itself was quite amusing. Due to her lengthy 'absences' she was convinced that she was actually 10 years old that birthday. When a card came through the post for her it had a large 11 embossed on the front of it. The self immediately defaced the card and changed it to 10. It was only after checking calenders that she finally accepted her true age!
Hello my name is shaylee jade and i am 10 yers and 9 months old and i got a twin and her name is shaylea. We did have to do lots of bad things with the daddy and we had to keep it a big secret or we wud be in bad trubel. The mother did not liek us and she called us bad names and siad she shud hav droped s wen she wos born. she siad she shud of got rid of s beefor she was born. Wen we got to do the bad thing with the daddy she sum times wotshed cuz i seen her standin by the dor wen he wos doin it and she wud send us to him wne he wos angery , he siad all the daddys dun it to ther big girls. me and shaylea dint like doin them bad things with the daddy but he siad we got to and then he started to taek us to that bad howse and them other men wer ther and they did bad bad bad things and me and shaylea sumtime dint go and leah went insted but wen charly got heer and alana they went insted but me and shaylea had to go lots of tiems and it was bad bad bad. and wen he put the baby in us he got reel mad and angery and punchd and punchd reel hard and we got in big trubel cuz ther wos blud i dont want to rite no mor now luv shaylee jade xx
September of 1977 we moved up to the high school. We went there alone as all the others that left from the primary school that year had been enroled in the Welsh speaking school next door. Our high school was english peaking. Until that year the high school had previously been an all boys school. We were the first female pupils to attend. kayleigh adored the school and was intent on learning as much as she possibly could. shaylee jade only ever attended the art classes and the self spent just enough time there to learn the basics. During our five years in that school we never forged any long lasting friendships, partly because the "father" did not allow us to have friends and also we feared being found out. Most of us thought that if we allowed anyone too close they would realise how 'bad' we were. It was so much safer to keep everyone at a distance.
Life was extremely difficult for the self and had it not been for our presence during those early years i doubt she would have survived. Obviously because of our family inners the physical,mental and sexual abuse was distributed amongst us all and in effect reduced the severity of it's effect on the body and mind. Rather than a single mind having to tolerate everything that occurred, we were able to segregate it into more manageable size 'pockets'.
At some point in time the father decided that he had to have a stick so that he could use it on our body. Prior to this he had used anything and everything he could lay his hands on, golf clubs, brooms, and once a poker hot from the fire. In all the time the beating continued he never once marked the face , choosing instead to hit the back, legs, stomach or chest areas where it would not be visible to outsiders. His favorite place was the back, he would always punch us in the lower back and i do believe it caused considerable pain but nobody ever let on.
The stick was a branch he had removed from a tree, it was approximately an inch diameter and three foot in length. He stripped the bark off it and 'kindly' scratched the selfs name onto it. tash was the inner who always took the beatings. He kept the stick by his side at all times of the day and night, he even took it along with him when the outside abuse began "to keep us in check".
Their three children continually bullied us, stole our belongings, scribbled in our school books so that we got into trouble at school, called us names - the list is endless. After leahs arrival things went from bad to worse because our leah is a feisty little madam and everything they did to us, leah reciprocated. tash took a great deal more beatings after the arrival of leah.
Shortly after shaylee jades' emergence, he had taken us into the barn and was in the midst of satisfying his urge. shaylee jade was doing what came natural by that time, lying still and letting him do the deed.
Suddenly we heard a sound from the other side of the barn and glancing across we saw that the mother had come into the barn, she was just standing there watching her husband 'f**king' her daughter and she did absolutely NOTHING. In fact she appeared to be enjoying the sight, standing there with a smirk on her face. Only after the father had finished did the mother speak, and it was just five simple words ~ "Your tea is ready, darling".
In October there developed a problem according to the father. He called us a whole host of names that would make your hair curl, said we were stupid because we had got a baby growing inside of us - OUR fault - NOT his! He knew exactly when the monthly period was due and it was several weeks late. Obviously it could have been just a "settling down" thing seeing as we only started to menstruate in the June of that year. Unfortunately it wasn't as simple as that.
It was the 15th October 1977. Everybody had gone to bed but as usual we couldn't settle (we never slept a great deal in those days). We heard the door opening and closing. I find it remarkable that we can remember things with such clarity - the door always creaked when it was just under halfway open and it was never fixed in all the time we lived there. That creaking was our early warning that he was coming in.
As we explained earlier he had built a passageway between the house and our caravan/bedroom. The door to the house was locked of an evening to prevent us going into the house. If we needed the bathroom in the night it was tough luck - we either had to hold on till morning or if we got really desperate we would open the window and and stick our butt through the window. The second option did not last for long though - within a few weeks there was a distinct smell of urine present outside the caravan and he guessed what we had been doing. His reaction was to fix the windows so that they would not open.
Anyway back to that night - 15th October . Before he had even got into our room shaylee jade was prepared for what was going to happen. He would always follow the same routine even though it was not necessary ( he had us all trained well by then). He would sneak in and then put his over our mouth, he would pull the covers down off us, hoist up our night clothes then do the "deed". This particular night was no different to begin with. After he had 'relieved' himself,he then started to punch the stomach with great force, really knocking the wind out of the body but during it all shaylee jade didn't make a murmur. She had quickly learned the dangers of showing any form of emotion be it pain or tears. After he had punched several times he then proceeded to have sex again with the body. He was being extremely violent and forceful, slamming into the body with such force that shaylee jade was struggling to stay present. She desperately wanted to escape back inside but she knew that it was her 'job' to see it through. As he finally withdrew a gush of blood came out of us and there was severe pain in the lower stomach. The blood went all over the bedding and him. When shaylee jade spotted the blood she finally gave up the body and tash took over. He left then and all he said was " thank the f*** for that". He locked the door behind him. we didn't realise it at the time but he had just forced us into experiencing a miscarriage.
The following morning we were all experiencing pain in the body to some extent and found it difficult to stand up straight. The bedding was soaked in blood and the body was covered in it. The mother came barging into the caravan demanding to know why it was taking us so long to get up. The first thing she saw was the blood stained bedding and she blew up like a bomb. Screaming, shouting at the ' evil, dirty little bitch child ' She made us strip the bed and we were forced to wash the bedding by hand in the bath. We went for two nights with no bedding because she refused to put it in the washing machine and dry it straight away. She never once asked what the problem was or if there even was a problem.
Christmas came around again and as usual we had to "pay" for our gifts. That christmas he decided that the normal sexual act was inadequate for his 'needs' so he started to penetrate anally. That was difficult because he caused tearing and we struggled to perform the normal toileting for several days. Despite the 'extra' we still only received basis essentials that christmas.
As the farm was so far out of the way we often found abandoned dogs walking the roads and fields. Inevitably the dogs would become 'ours'. He did not like that at all. One particular dog became extremely protective of us and would growl at the father when he got to close. After a few days of this he decided enough was enough. He got his shotgun from the house and whistled us,. shaylee jade went along with him to begin with but when he didn't stop for the usual she got into a panic and tash took over. He walked us down to the bottom field. It was a very steep field with a huge ditch at the bottom. He made tash tell the dog to stay and he made us stand next to him. The next thing he picked up his gun, aimed it at the dog and shot him dead right in front of us. Only myself ,verity and tash witnessed it. When the dog was dead he made us drag its body to the edge of the ditch and then he kicked it over the edge. I remember glancing down and seeing bones in amongst the weeds, no doubt the remains of other dogs that had gone before that particular one. Until that day he would claim that the animals had simply disappeared whilst we had been at school. Only myself, verity and tash knew the truth and some of the inners are still unaware of what really happened to those dogs.
Over the years there were a variety of 'pets' but their lives were always cut short in some way or another and we feel sure that the father was always behind the mysterious "disappearances". We were given six pigeons by a neighbouring farmer who was retiring. He also gave us his collie dog 'dewi'. The father went to great lengths building a coop for the pigeons in one of the unused outbuildings, the furthest one from the house. This also happened to be "the" place where the majority of the abuse would occur.
The pigeons had been with us for around a fortnight and we were always amazed on returning from school to find that they were still there. This particular day we arrived back at the farm, got ourselves changed into 'working' clothes then went into the shed where the pigeons were kept. The door had a padlock on it to ensure that the door wasn't opened whilst we were at school but it was unlocked that day. We had a bad feeling about it because we always ensured the door was locked. As we opened the door one of the farm tomcats came rushing out and we were met by all six pigeons lying dead on the ground, mauled by the cat. Feathers were everywhere and the birds had been mutilated badly. The host child and several others were extremely upset by this but as we had been trained well ,they did not show it. Of course the father blamed us, said we must have shut the cat in there. We knew that we hadn't but there was no point in saying it out loud.
The self and tash wanted to bury the birds, so despite knowing what the repercussions would be we picked all the birds up and took them behind our caravan where we could bury them in peace. The father came looking for us and was incredibly angry because we 'should have been in the milking parlor getting the cattle in ready for milking '. He grabbed hold of the first thing he could lay his hands on, this happened to be an old golf club which their son had been playing with. tash spotted it coming so she was prepared for the inevitable. He beat the body badly that day, causing severe bruising across the back. For a couple of weeks we refused to do PE at school because we were too afraid to undress in the presence of other children incase they spotted the bruising.
The collie dog Dewi disappeared a few days later. The father said that the farmer had returned for the dog but we never discovered if that was the truth.
Another dog, another year. We were given a black puppy labrador cross who we named Jip.He was the sweetest thing imaginable and became very protective of us. This again caused problems with the father. He would insist that the dog be tied up outside the barn. The self was present on the day that Jip lost his life. She had gone to feed him and the father had parked up one of the tractors, a massey Ferguson, right alongside where Jip was chained up. The dog was quite happy to sit in the seat of the tractor and the father told the self to put his food on the top of the tractor. I feel sure he knew what would happen but again we could never prove it.
After the chores were done we went to let Jip off the chain so he could have a run about and we discovered him hanging over the side of the tractor. He had slipped off the front when he'd gone to get his food and because the chain was tangled up he had hung himself. Recently the self remembered this during a counselling session and she blames herself entirely for what happened.
School became the only escape and everyone tended to go a bit wild during those few short hours. On an almost daily basis one of the inners or the self ( with the exception of kayleigh ) would be sent out of the classroom to "see the headmaster". The self became labelled as "disruptive" and we were forever writing lines set by one teacher or another. PE became a big problem due to the beatings that we were experiencing. The body was constantly covered in bruises and we lived in fear of anyone spotting them because we knew without a doubt that it would be us who got the blame. This problem was solved by conveniently forgetting the PE kit or by feigning the monthly period. Forgetting the PE kit always resulted in lines having to be written.
"i must not forget my PE kit"
"i must not answer the teacher back"
"i must not deface school exercise books"
" i must not, must not, must not"!!!!
During those first few years there were the occasional high spots, although the resulting punishments far outweighed the brief glee that we felt. One particular incident that made us feel some happiness was the day that tash tipped the tractor. We had been taught to drive the tractors from very soon after we arrived there and this particular day tash decided to totally ignore the father whenever he told her to do something. We were driving a tractor and trailer out of one field across to another field and when we should have turned the steering wheel, tash decided not to. The end result was the tractor being driven straight up into the hedge until it tipped right back and had the nose sticking upin the air. The only thing that prevented it from tipping over backwards and crushing us was the trailer on the back of it. That turned out to be one of the few "funny" days that we experienced on that farm especially when the father had to go and ask a neighbouring farmer to come and help him pull the tractor back down to earth.
Another time we were driving across the bottom field which we called "five acres". This field was extremely steep and the only safe way to drive in there was by going across at an angle. This was not a "working" field in that we did not use it to produce hay for the cattle, it was simply rough grazing land. We were taking some fencing materials across to the far end of the field as the cattle had been escaping into neighbouring farmland. We were driving and the father was sitting behind us. Suddenly for no apparent reason tash decided to turn the tractor so it was facing down bank and then leapt clean out of the way. We never saw the father move as fast as he did that day!
Sadly he was able to bring the tractor under control before it caused him any damage.
There were several times when he should have died but luck was on his side. When we first moved in with them he was quite a heavy drinker. One sunday just before christmas 1977 he went over to a neighbouring farm for a couple of hours. Whilst he was out the self decided we would go for a walk ~ nobody would miss us while he wasn't in. As we were walking along the lane back towards the farm he appeared in the car and was obviously very drunk. As we side stepped out of the way he suddenly revved the car up and drove straight at us. At the last minute he swerved, lost control and the car ended up quite literally wrapped around a tree. He got out without a scratch and we got the blame. That "accident" was partly the reason we ended up being 'sold' to his friends. The car was going to be expensive to repair and because we had caused the accident ( according to the father) then we had to help pay the cost of it!
Another time, another drinking spree. He was driving the tractor across the five acres field and tipped the tractor. The only thing that saved him that day was the fact that that particular tractor had a roll bar on it. Again he escaped without a scratch.
We had by the christmas of 1977 been living there for just two years. So much had happened in that short space of time. We had lost out identity, our virginity, our ability to show emotions, basically we had lost everything that was important to us and instead we had become nothing but a play thing for the father, something for their three children to ridicule and a target for the mothers anger, hostility and hate towards us. Could things get any worse? Yes and they did very soon after christmas of 1977.
