Nobody
knew the fear that we
had
Dear Lord Jesus
of going to bed at night. please hear our prayer
Nobody knew the reasons Dear Lord Jesus
why we lived in constant fright. help us to go out there.
Nobody would ask us Help us to speak the hurts
Nobody had the time Help us to speak the fears
Nobody saw the signals that have haunted us for years
Nobody read the mime Hold us tight
Nobody saw the shadowy figure Please don't let go
creeping into our bed Hold our hand
Nobody heard the words and squeeze it so
that the shadowy figure said Give us courage,
Nobody saw the happenings Lord we pray
in that bed during the night to speak the words
Nobody saw our sadness that we need to say.
Nobody saw our plight charly 1998
Nobody to hold us
and make us feel secure What's it like to love someone?
Nobody to tell us what's it like to feel?
It wouldn't happen anymore what's it like when someone cares
Nobody to turn to and you know that it is for real?
Nobody We dared tell What's it like to trust someone?
We may as well have been what's it like to share?
Just a nobody as well what's it like to hold their hand
ella & charly Feb 2001 and believe that they do care?
What's it like to hold someone
what's it like? We say
What's it like to give your heart
and not be pushed away?
2004 ella & abby
We may be made of plastic Trapped in isolation
instead of "all things nice" the home that soon became Hell
we have got no feelings miles away from anywhere
Inside we're cold as ice. with nobody we could tell.
It's our fault what happened Got to teach us about life" he said
we brought it on ourselves it's what all 'daddys' do
Now we pay the penalty but it has to be a secret though
alone except our selves a secret between me and you"
Plastic dolls is all we'll be He hurt the body badly
there is no response to give time and time again
It's not like things you read in books There never was a chance to escape
THEY know how to live. just continuous torture and pain.
No loving arms around us Why do 'daddys' do those things?
No kisses to receive Is it really true?
These are things that happen Do all 'daddys' do those things?
To others, not to us. or just the wicked few?
We can't let anyone near "It won't hurt a bit " he said
neither woman nor a man but it did, it hurt like hell.
We so would like to know what it's like Don't breathe a word to anyone" he said
to hold someones hand I'll kill you if you tell"
To have somebody hold us Trapped in isolation
without inflicting pain on a farm of living hell
but we are too afraid miles away from anywhere
of being hurt again with secrets we could not tell.
charly & shaylee jade 2000
ella, nicki & charly Sept 2000
Here we are Locked inside the room
trapped inside this body late at night
Our secrets are hidden trying to sleep
we cannot tell anybody but filled with fright
How can it be? He will come very soon
one body yet minds of more? of this We can be sure
We really do exist He has the key you see
of that you can be sure. the key that unlocks the door.
Does anybody ever realise He's coming in now
does anybody ever care? we knew that he would be
Does anybody see the difference Shutting the door
when one of us is there? And turning the key
She hides it well His weight on the bed
and lets them call her crazy pressing us down
She won't admit the truth His hand over our mouth
Prefers the secrets , Maybe? So we cannot make a sound
We are here, minds of many He's touching and hurting
locked inside this living hell and causing more pain
Maybe one day she will set us free Makes him feel good ,he says
so our secrets we can tell. so he does it again
2001 And now he is gone again
back to his wife.
And all it does to us
is ruin our life.
ella 1999
Will someone ever see us here? The battle is within her
will someone ever care? Our voices scream and shout
will someone ever listen to us we are just so very afraid
and allow us to share? Of people finding out
Will someone ever hear our cries It's us they'll blame for it
and listen to our pain for letting it just happen
Will someone ever hear us we cannot take on any more guilt
and help us with our shame? or fight another battle
we don't think anyone will listen They'll say that we just made it up
They'll lock her up instead so we could get attention
they'll say that she is crazy We know that it won't be easy
and not right in the head to ask for or to find
Will someone please see us here but we so badly need some help
will someone please care to ease this shattered mind.
Someone Please listen to us 2001
and allow us to share.
2000
of going to bed at night. please hear our prayer
Nobody knew the reasons Dear Lord Jesus
why we lived in constant fright. help us to go out there.
Nobody would ask us Help us to speak the hurts
Nobody had the time Help us to speak the fears
Nobody saw the signals that have haunted us for years
Nobody read the mime Hold us tight
Nobody saw the shadowy figure Please don't let go
creeping into our bed Hold our hand
Nobody heard the words and squeeze it so
that the shadowy figure said Give us courage,
Nobody saw the happenings Lord we pray
in that bed during the night to speak the words
Nobody saw our sadness that we need to say.
Nobody saw our plight charly 1998
Nobody to hold us
and make us feel secure What's it like to love someone?
Nobody to tell us what's it like to feel?
It wouldn't happen anymore what's it like when someone cares
Nobody to turn to and you know that it is for real?
Nobody We dared tell What's it like to trust someone?
We may as well have been what's it like to share?
Just a nobody as well what's it like to hold their hand
ella & charly Feb 2001 and believe that they do care?
What's it like to hold someone
what's it like? We say
What's it like to give your heart
and not be pushed away?
2004 ella & abby
We may be made of plastic Trapped in isolation
instead of "all things nice" the home that soon became Hell
we have got no feelings miles away from anywhere
Inside we're cold as ice. with nobody we could tell.
It's our fault what happened Got to teach us about life" he said
we brought it on ourselves it's what all 'daddys' do
Now we pay the penalty but it has to be a secret though
alone except our selves a secret between me and you"
Plastic dolls is all we'll be He hurt the body badly
there is no response to give time and time again
It's not like things you read in books There never was a chance to escape
THEY know how to live. just continuous torture and pain.
No loving arms around us Why do 'daddys' do those things?
No kisses to receive Is it really true?
These are things that happen Do all 'daddys' do those things?
To others, not to us. or just the wicked few?
We can't let anyone near "It won't hurt a bit " he said
neither woman nor a man but it did, it hurt like hell.
We so would like to know what it's like Don't breathe a word to anyone" he said
to hold someones hand I'll kill you if you tell"
To have somebody hold us Trapped in isolation
without inflicting pain on a farm of living hell
but we are too afraid miles away from anywhere
of being hurt again with secrets we could not tell.
charly & shaylee jade 2000
ella, nicki & charly Sept 2000
Here we are Locked inside the room
trapped inside this body late at night
Our secrets are hidden trying to sleep
we cannot tell anybody but filled with fright
How can it be? He will come very soon
one body yet minds of more? of this We can be sure
We really do exist He has the key you see
of that you can be sure. the key that unlocks the door.
Does anybody ever realise He's coming in now
does anybody ever care? we knew that he would be
Does anybody see the difference Shutting the door
when one of us is there? And turning the key
She hides it well His weight on the bed
and lets them call her crazy pressing us down
She won't admit the truth His hand over our mouth
Prefers the secrets , Maybe? So we cannot make a sound
We are here, minds of many He's touching and hurting
locked inside this living hell and causing more pain
Maybe one day she will set us free Makes him feel good ,he says
so our secrets we can tell. so he does it again
2001 And now he is gone again
back to his wife.
And all it does to us
is ruin our life.
ella 1999
Will someone ever see us here? The battle is within her
will someone ever care? Our voices scream and shout
will someone ever listen to us we are just so very afraid
and allow us to share? Of people finding out
Will someone ever hear our cries It's us they'll blame for it
and listen to our pain for letting it just happen
Will someone ever hear us we cannot take on any more guilt
and help us with our shame? or fight another battle
we don't think anyone will listen They'll say that we just made it up
They'll lock her up instead so we could get attention
they'll say that she is crazy We know that it won't be easy
and not right in the head to ask for or to find
Will someone please see us here but we so badly need some help
will someone please care to ease this shattered mind.
Someone Please listen to us 2001
and allow us to share.
2000
All
we want is someone to
listen
Can someone please tell us
Someone to care. what emotions are all about?
All we want is someone to listen How does one cry?
to everything that happened there. or even scream and shout?
Someone to hold us Is it emotion
and not cause us pain this thing that feel?
Someone to hold us Is it emotion
now and again. is it even real?
Someone to help We weren't allowed to feel
ease this pain in our minds emotions were banned
Someone to help The one time she cried
someone to be kind all she felt was his hand
Too much to ask How do they work
we hear you cry won't someone please tell
Maybe it would be better Then maybe we can be released
if we give up and die from this living hell.
ella 2001 2001
What price to pay Where do the unshed tears go?
For being alive? Are they bottled up
Tortured by day or do they flow?
And tormented by night How does one cry
She didn't want us when it was never allowed
nobody did. How does one cry
She said time and again or even shout out loud
how she wished she'd got rid How does one ever learn
What price to pay to be human and real?
For being alive? When for years and years
tortured by day we were bullied not to feel.
and STILL tormented by night. Threatened with beatings
2001 subjected to pain
All of it taken without feeling
anything but shame.
1999
This child within The scars on the outside
would like to be heard are visible and clear
What i have to tell you The scars on the inside
isn't absurd. are hidden in here.
He used us, abused us Another scar to add to many
beat us and more the blood is flowing once again
Then at night we were shut in It helps ease the mind for a while
behind a locked door but does nothing for the pain
We may have escaped Will someone ever see us here?
but the memories are still here Will someone ever listen
when does it end? will someone ever care?
When will the mind become clear? And allow us to share?
2002 2000
Someone to care. what emotions are all about?
All we want is someone to listen How does one cry?
to everything that happened there. or even scream and shout?
Someone to hold us Is it emotion
and not cause us pain this thing that feel?
Someone to hold us Is it emotion
now and again. is it even real?
Someone to help We weren't allowed to feel
ease this pain in our minds emotions were banned
Someone to help The one time she cried
someone to be kind all she felt was his hand
Too much to ask How do they work
we hear you cry won't someone please tell
Maybe it would be better Then maybe we can be released
if we give up and die from this living hell.
ella 2001 2001
What price to pay Where do the unshed tears go?
For being alive? Are they bottled up
Tortured by day or do they flow?
And tormented by night How does one cry
She didn't want us when it was never allowed
nobody did. How does one cry
She said time and again or even shout out loud
how she wished she'd got rid How does one ever learn
What price to pay to be human and real?
For being alive? When for years and years
tortured by day we were bullied not to feel.
and STILL tormented by night. Threatened with beatings
2001 subjected to pain
All of it taken without feeling
anything but shame.
1999
This child within The scars on the outside
would like to be heard are visible and clear
What i have to tell you The scars on the inside
isn't absurd. are hidden in here.
He used us, abused us Another scar to add to many
beat us and more the blood is flowing once again
Then at night we were shut in It helps ease the mind for a while
behind a locked door but does nothing for the pain
We may have escaped Will someone ever see us here?
but the memories are still here Will someone ever listen
when does it end? will someone ever care?
When will the mind become clear? And allow us to share?
2002 2000
Here
we are locked
inside
Here we are alone
young girls so very sad drowning in our pain
girls who can't explain the darkness is all around us
all the things that were so bad and we're back in that hell again
The things that cause our nightmares Memories and shame
that nobody will believe hurting and pain
things that nobody will accept as truth darkness all around
and will find hard to conceive remembering again
The innocent young children Will it ever end
who Carry All the blame this life of shame?
carry all the guilt will we ever mend
and carry all the shame Can we ever be whole again?
Trapped inside this woman
who refuses to let us go
who will not let us tell We hold the head in shame
of the things that hurt us so we are drowning in the guilt
All the trapped emotions The heart is full of pain
and the feelings left unshared Can you see our shame?
all the deaf ears turned Can you feel our pain?
By those who should have cared We so want to share
Starved of mothers love and care But we are too afraid
no security of a 'dad' to ever trust again.
caught up in isolation
frustrated and so very sad
When will this nightmare ever end Memories so clear,locked away inside
somewhere it surely must Never to be shared.
no more to doubt and fear Dear God if you're listening
somewhere there must be trust. Why does it continue?
Why do we remember?
Why do we have to go through it
time and time again?
Will it ever end?
Will we ever be free?
Dear God if you're listening
Please let us be.
So much was stolen from us
that we can never retrieve Is anyone listening?
So much was stolen from us Can anybody hear?
but we have no right to grieve this pain inside us
Instead we go on living Please don't come near.
with the shame we're dirt you see
and all the guilt filth through and through
All of that which was stolen from us Please don't get too close
was replaced by the feelings or we may contaminate you.
of shame We lived, we breathed
of guilt when we should have died
and the strongest feeling of blame We had to perform
even when we wanted to hide
Please don't touch us
We're bad through and through
Please don't come near us
incase we contaminate you.
charly & abby 2003
young girls so very sad drowning in our pain
girls who can't explain the darkness is all around us
all the things that were so bad and we're back in that hell again
The things that cause our nightmares Memories and shame
that nobody will believe hurting and pain
things that nobody will accept as truth darkness all around
and will find hard to conceive remembering again
The innocent young children Will it ever end
who Carry All the blame this life of shame?
carry all the guilt will we ever mend
and carry all the shame Can we ever be whole again?
Trapped inside this woman
who refuses to let us go
who will not let us tell We hold the head in shame
of the things that hurt us so we are drowning in the guilt
All the trapped emotions The heart is full of pain
and the feelings left unshared Can you see our shame?
all the deaf ears turned Can you feel our pain?
By those who should have cared We so want to share
Starved of mothers love and care But we are too afraid
no security of a 'dad' to ever trust again.
caught up in isolation
frustrated and so very sad
When will this nightmare ever end Memories so clear,locked away inside
somewhere it surely must Never to be shared.
no more to doubt and fear Dear God if you're listening
somewhere there must be trust. Why does it continue?
Why do we remember?
Why do we have to go through it
time and time again?
Will it ever end?
Will we ever be free?
Dear God if you're listening
Please let us be.
So much was stolen from us
that we can never retrieve Is anyone listening?
So much was stolen from us Can anybody hear?
but we have no right to grieve this pain inside us
Instead we go on living Please don't come near.
with the shame we're dirt you see
and all the guilt filth through and through
All of that which was stolen from us Please don't get too close
was replaced by the feelings or we may contaminate you.
of shame We lived, we breathed
of guilt when we should have died
and the strongest feeling of blame We had to perform
even when we wanted to hide
Please don't touch us
We're bad through and through
Please don't come near us
incase we contaminate you.
charly & abby 2003
Verses
Why did nobody ever hear the cries?
See the bruises? See the pain?
We're locked away inside our prison walls
No-one to hear us or to feel our shame
The lies they told so that the truth would not come out
Is that really what families are all about?
2001
Silence
but not for long~~
waiting
Footsteps approaching
Key in the lock turning
The heart starts to pound
He is here
Don't say a word, Don't mutter a sound
Drink this ~ it will help you stay calm
Drink it ~ it might save us from harm
Soon it is over, the silence is back
And once again~ Darkness falls
~~ Silence
ella 2003
The mother knew what he was doing
but she didn't seem to care
It seemed that she'd given all her love
to others, and had none left to spare
The father is angry~Go calm him down
The father is angry~Go to him
but don't make a sound
Go you little bitch, out of my sight
Go to your father and make him feel right
YES mother dear, anything to please
Maybe she'll love me if I do as she says?
1999
Locked inside this prison cell
Locked inside this living hell
Will it ever go away?
Will we ever have a peaceful day?
PLEASE won't someone listen
to us inside?
PLEASE won't someone listen
and help make it right?
1998
How many times can a body be hurt
before it gives up and dies?
How many times can a body be hurt
with torture, torment and lies?
How many times?
A cat has nine lives
If we were a cat, we would surely
have died
It hurts too much to remember
but we cannot forgetThe guilt, the shame, the blame
we hold it all
Our secret Hell, it's ours alone
we can never tell
charly 1998
Instead we go on living in
this life of darkest
Hell
we tried to tell that one
time
but they didn't see to care
They listened for a little while
But then they sent us back there
Sent back to persecution
fear, shame and painWe were only back one day
when it started all over again
We cannot talk, we cannot tell
Instead we have to go on living
this life of darkest hell
We
live in the
past
Please hear our prayer
back to that time dear God above
Always the memories Help us to live
going through our minds help us to love
Was there something different Please hear our prayer
that we could have done? help us with the shame
Should we have screamed help us with the guilt
or even tried to run? Please God if you're listening
Shame and fear free us from pain.
kept us silent Help us find peace
How could we tell anyone from this life of Hell
that the 'parents' were violent? Help us find comfort
crying silent tears help us be well
filled with pain Help us be free, from this pain inside
Feeling so very dirty Help make us glad that we haven't died.
and filled with shame
There is no freedom
there is no escape
we're left to suffer for eternity In the dead of night,alone with our fears
while the guilty ones this has been our life for many long years
are allowed to walk free Alone with our fears, alone with our fright
We live in the past Will someone ever realise and show us the light?
Is that really fair? We're locked away inside this empty shell
But how can we tell locked inside our life of Hell
of the things that happened there? Is there a light? Can we ever tell?
ella 15-02-01 Or are we destined to stay
forever locked in this darkest Hell?
Alone with our fears in the dead of night
Please someone notice us and show us the light
ella 25-6-04
back to that time dear God above
Always the memories Help us to live
going through our minds help us to love
Was there something different Please hear our prayer
that we could have done? help us with the shame
Should we have screamed help us with the guilt
or even tried to run? Please God if you're listening
Shame and fear free us from pain.
kept us silent Help us find peace
How could we tell anyone from this life of Hell
that the 'parents' were violent? Help us find comfort
crying silent tears help us be well
filled with pain Help us be free, from this pain inside
Feeling so very dirty Help make us glad that we haven't died.
and filled with shame
There is no freedom
there is no escape
we're left to suffer for eternity In the dead of night,alone with our fears
while the guilty ones this has been our life for many long years
are allowed to walk free Alone with our fears, alone with our fright
We live in the past Will someone ever realise and show us the light?
Is that really fair? We're locked away inside this empty shell
But how can we tell locked inside our life of Hell
of the things that happened there? Is there a light? Can we ever tell?
ella 15-02-01 Or are we destined to stay
forever locked in this darkest Hell?
Alone with our fears in the dead of night
Please someone notice us and show us the light
ella 25-6-04